Peter Gallagher finds it embarrassing to mention how long he has been married and revealed why. He once broke up with his now-wife, Paula Harwood, and candidly divulged how his mother convinced him to get back together. The couple shares two children who have followed in their father’s footsteps, achieving notable success in the entertainment industry.
Peter is best known for starring in the 1995 romantic comedy film “While You Were Sleeping” with Sandra Bullock. He later appeared in the television drama series, “The O.C.” opposite Olivia Wilde and Ben McKenzie. The show aired for four seasons from 2003 to 2007.
The actor has also had recurring roles in popular shows including, “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit,” “Californication” and “Grace & Frankie.” Despite his success, he often fought for his roles, sharing in a 2020 interview that he has faced many challenges in his career.
“Not getting the roles I’ve wanted has been true my whole career. I have fought for every role I’ve gotten,” the actor admitted. Peter’s acting journey began in high school, where he auditioned for a school play on a whim.
His initial goal was to make a living in theater, but never imagined he would act in movies or on television. However, the New York native’s big break came with the 1989 film “Sex, Lies and Videotape.”
“There were so many roles I didn’t get. And there were many periods where I was ready to throw in the towel. I’ve lost all my confidence and needed to find it again,” Peter reflected.
Similarly to his career, the 68-year-old’s love life has also been a roller coaster ride for the most part. Peter went down memory lane in a May 2024 interview where he shared how he met his wife, Paula Harwood, whom he once broke up with.
The couple first crossed paths during their first week of freshman year in college in a stairwell. Peter explained that it was at Bush Hall at Tufts University, adding, “I was up the stairs to see a girl, and she was coming down the stairs to see a boy.”
The television star and Paula did not exchange any words, and while he barely recalls anything that happened, he vividly remembers that moment.
“[…] We just sort of glided by each other. She was in this spectacular hair and this tight turtleneck thing and a disco belt and tight corduroy bell bottoms and platform shoes,” Peter recounted.
He praised his future wife, saying she was “way cooler” than he was at the time and still is in the present. The star described their first meeting as “powerful” and admitted it took him a while to woo Paula. “[…] I spent the next seven years trying to figure out how I could go out with her,” he said.
Peter Gallagher and Paula Harwood at the Los Angeles premiere for “Sex, Lies, & Videotape,” 1989 | Source: Getty Images
He was later asked how he felt the first time he laid eyes on her. Peter said the feeling was like something he had never experienced before. The actor confessed that the sensation surprised him.
The future showbiz star found Paula’s picture in a freshman yearbook and gushed over it as he perceived her as being someone unattainable. He finally talked to her for the first time several years later.
Peter made sure he was at the same place Paula was, regardless of his class schedule. “And so, I would make her laugh. And frankly, that’s still, like, a huge component of our relationship,” he divulged.
When asked to think of a time when loving himself was more important than being able to love Paula, Peter reflected on their breakup. He said that while they were dating, he ended things with her and told his mother about it.
Paula Harwood and Peter Gallagher at the 52nd Annual Writers Guild of America Awards March 5, 2000, in New York City. | Source: Getty Images
However, his mom scolded him and advised him to go and apologize to Paula. Peter recalled his parent saying, “‘She is a wonderful young woman. And any problem you’re going to be having with her, you will be having with anyone because they’re your problems.'”
She told him to figure out what was troubling him before giving up on their relationship and was certain he would find out what it was. “‘It’s your issue, an issue that you will have, regardless of who you’re with.’ And I went, OK,” Peter remembered.
He followed his mother’s advice and patched things up with Paula. Peter was then asked what it was about loving oneself that makes it easier to love others. The actor replied that it starts with forgiveness.
“I think you have to begin to forgive yourself because it can be like being a drunk, the desire for some kind of self-abnegation or constant expression of disdain against one’s self,” he explained.
Paula Harwood and Peter Gallagher at the Vanity Fair Oscar party on February 27, 2005, in West Hollywood, California. | Source: Getty Images
When asked how long they had been together before he knew he wanted to marry Paula, Peter recalled that he realized this when they were driving to her friend’s wedding.
It was the first person he knew who was getting married at their age back then, and it was during a torrential rainstorm. While discussing the wedding on their way there, the actor recounted that it was a moment that he was not proud of.
“I started to say, so, wow. Like, well, yeah, Ron is getting married. […] Maybe – could you ever imagine that kind of thing, doing something like that with somebody like me, or something like that?” he asked Paula.
She then questioned whether he was asking her to marry him to which he replied, “Well, well, well, it certainly seems that way.” Paula then asked Peter if he would ask for her parents’ permission as well and he said yes.
Paula Harwood and Peter Gallagher at the premiere of “Mr. Deeds,” 2002 | Source: Getty Images
He did that by penning a lengthy letter to her father, telling him that he would take care of her and that her father had nothing to worry about. That said, the pair ultimately wed in May 1983 and have been married for 41 years.
Interestingly enough, Peter admitted that he feels it is embarrassing to be together for that long. Asked what he meant by that, he said, “Just that it’s not something you hear every day, and it’s not something I ever really am interested in promoting.”
The public figure added that some people tend to mention how long they have been married in the media, and shortly after, their relationships hit rock bottom. Asked if he had any advice for those who hope to remain married for such a long time, Peter said, “Don’t get divorced,” adding, “Good luck.”
Apart from giving marriage advice, Peter has shown off his beloved wife on social media. He posted a photo of them beaming during their visit to Toronto, Canada in November 2022.
Paula Harwood and Peter Gallagher at Netflix’s special screening of Grace and Frankie Season 5 on January 16, 2019, in Los Angeles, California. | Source: Getty Images
“Here with Paula, my bride of many years – so many I’m not allowed to say. We just had a wonderful dinner at Boehmer on Ossington St in Toronto,” he captioned the post. One person complimented his wife, writing, “She’s so beautiful.”
Peter also commemorated their 40th wedding anniversary on Instagram in May 2023. He shared their recent picture at the time and a throwback image of them on their wedding day and wrote, “[…] I’m so glad we did.” Once again people commented on his spouse’s appearance including his.
“You’ve aged well. She’s aged extraordinarily,” said one follower. Another penned, “Those blue eyes both of you! Happy anniversary.” Someone else remarked, “A normal Hollywood couple, such a breath of fresh air.” While one added, “Your wife is even more beautiful today, wow!! Happy Anniversary.”
Besides their successful marriage, Peter and Paula are doting parents to two adult children. Their daughter Kathryn Gallagher, followed in her famous father’s footsteps by pursuing acting.
Kathryn is not only an actress but a Tony Award nominee, just like her dad. Peter gushed about his child’s milestone in a 2021 Instagram post, sharing she invited him to the Tony Awards at the time and that they had a blast.
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“We happened to have been nominated for best-featured acting while in shows at the same theatre – The Broadhurst – 35 years apart,” the proud dad revealed.
In addition to this achievement, Kathryn is also a Grammy Award-winning singer. She won the prestigious accolade for Best Musical Theater Album, “Jagged Little Pill,” at the 66th Grammy Awards in February 2024.
The father and daughter duo also appeared on the “Ancestry” show “2 Lies & A Leaf” in 2022, and online users gushed over Kathryn’s looks. One expressed, “I’m curious to know where in your genes the fantastic eyebrows came from.” In another post, another person said, “Like father like daughter.”
Besides Kathryn, Peter and Paula also share a son, James Gallagher. He is also like his dad and sister, as he is in show business but behind the scenes. He works as a director and camera operator.
In 2023, Peter proudly revealed on Instagram that his son’s documentary would be showing at the Tribeca Film Festival. “So proud of my son,” he expressed.
In another post from that same year, the father of two shared a family photo while in New York. He said his kids had made his and Paula’s lives much better in every way since they were born.
One Instagram follower commented on the post, “Nice to see he’s a family man.” Another complimented the Gallagher clan as the person wrote, “Such a BEAUTIFUL family!!”
Peter’s life is a testament to enduring love and the importance of family. His personal and professional journies continue to inspire and captivate many.
