A celibate couple have revealed exactly what they wish they knew about having sex before tying the knot and spending their first night together.

Paul and Morgan Olliges got married back in 2016. And before then, they were both committed to a lifestyle of celibacy, where they didn’t have sex before getting married.

The Christian couple, who are from the United States and have a child together, regularly post to their YouTube channel about their lifestyle and how it fits in to a modern world where religion isn’t as prominent across all social activities and groups.

One video saw them sit down to reveal the big questions they wish they had the answers to before sleeping together for the first time, given the stumbling blocks they encountered along the way.

Lower those expectations at the beginning

For Paul and Morgan, this was a little different to many people who might have sex for the first time after briefly getting to know each other. They were married, meaning their relationship was already far more complex and layered.

“Once you get married…don’t expect the sexiness and the adventuresome, crazy awesome stuff to go from zero 100 right out of the gate,” Paul said.

“Realise that is going to take some time and if I had realised that before getting married I wouldn’t have brought out the whipped cream on our honeymoon. It was a bad idea it made Morgan cry.”

Morgan said: “We’re like three days into our marriage in Miami, Florida on our honeymoon and he brings out a can of whipped cream and I’m like [wide eyed].”

He replied: “In my mind it was – ‘I’m finally married now I welcome everything into our sex life let’s go wild’ – and Morgan’s like, man, let’s take this slow.”

Paul said it would be wise to have a chat about this before the wedding night if you’re in a situation similar to them.

Be an open book

Talking honestly and open about sex with each other, and how it is for both of you.

Morgan says: “If you think that you’ve communicated about sex you probably haven’t communicated enough about sex. There are times when Paul and I are making a video or talking to one another, or to another couple, and I’m like ‘our sex life is great’.

“And Paul’s like ‘well, it’s good but…’ and I’m like ‘wait what I thought we were good, I thought we were on the same page’.”

“When you think you’ve communicated enough, communicate more,” Paul says.

Read up on sex – but do it carefully

As with any topic, you should be taking what you read about sex with a pinch of salt.

Paul said: “Be careful what sex books and articles you read. There’s a lot out there and for certain intrigued personalities – I’m a virgin, I was homeschooled, I’m super excited about sex and I would like to be somewhat prepared for it – so I’m thinking what can I digest pre-wedding night.

Morgan and Paul both agree that communication about their sex life is an important aspect. (YouTube)

“In my mind I justified some things that I shouldn’t have frankly because I want to be ready for this, I want to be able to offer myself and not be completely clueless. “It caused me to have these expectations because I maybe I was just grabbing and reading an article about sex from whatever, Cosmopolitan in the store.

“A lot of it is setting expectations at don’t need to be there because who you’re going to end up with is very unique and sometimes they paint things in a broad brush and get you super excited and stoked when that’s not actually the reality of what your special beautiful sex life is going to be.”

More than just a physical act

“Sex can mean two very different things to each of you,” Morgan said.

“For him, it could mean a physical moment of intimacy that brings a very nice release a stress tension. For me it could mean a time to connect in a very intimate way, where before the physical you want the relational, the conversation, the cuddling and that actually means more to you than the actual act of sex okay.”

She explained that the ‘physical act of sex’ sometimes ‘doesn’t mean that much… unless I have the relational, interaction with Paul beforehand whether we’re just cuddling on the couch watching a TV show before we go to the bedroom’.

“Something that is not a very sexual thing but just a connecting thing, so that I feel like we’re on the same page and then I feel much more connected to him and the physical act becomes much more pleasurable for me,” Morgan said.

Morgan says the ‘physical act of sex’ sometimes ‘doesn’t mean that much…’ (Getty Stock Photo)

It’s not just all about sex

Similar to above, sex isn’t everything in a relationship that has got to the stage of marriage.

Morgan said: “Sometimes sex just doesn’t do it for you, and that’s okay. So you have to communicate that you want to be loved in other ways to make sure you are getting pleased as well.

“There are times when sex just you know it felt good and I enjoyed being with my husband in that way but it’s not what I need right now to feel loved.

“Sex is just one part of marriage, it’s a it’s a big part, but it’s just one part and a lot of other things go around.”

Sometimes sex happens when it happens

Paul said: “Sex, or expectation to have it… and then you get ready and the night is moving towards that – and something happens, you might get in a fight – for me, sex or lack of is very emotional.”

What he alludes to is the idea that sex should be this thing that’s always on the table just because you’re married when, in fact, that’s not how the world works.

He said: “I remember I would be laying over on my side of the bed and we had gotten an argument and it was like – ‘okay it’s pretty clear that sex isn’t happening’ – when I thought it was going to.

“And it was just brutal; I don’t get the feeling that it hits you as hard because there would be times when I was laying there and I was just like, ‘okay Morgan’s mad at me or something happened, we’re not gonna have sex’. I was expecting it… it hits you in a way that I don’t think I’d ever experienced.

“The feeling of being let down of sad of upset… I just want to go get in my car and just drive, I just wanna not be here. I’m angry, so many emotions because it’s a combination of sex is just so pleasurable but it’s also so intimate and so beautiful and suddenly that’s being taken away.”

A polyamorous trio have revealed how they manage to make their relationship work with each other.

Polyamorous relationships have been on the rise in the past decade. According to statistics reported by The Guardian, around 10 percent of people in the UK would consider entering into a polyamorous relationship, while about one percent of people surveyed admitted to being in one.

Although these figures are still fairly low compared to the general population, social media and reality shows such as Couple to Throuple and Seeking Sister Wife has meant that more people are aware of non-monogamous dating.

This isn’t to say that polyamory isn’t without challenge, as couple Felix, Shannon and Brett explained how they make sure their relationship works.

Appearing on an episode of Soft White Underbelly, Shannon and Felix, from Los Angeles, US, explained that they have been together for around a decade, nine of those being in a polyamorous relationship.

After experimenting with swinging, the couple decided to explore a deeper connection – eventually meeting Brett online.

The trio have no created a polyamorous family together, describing their relationship as a ‘polycule’ which includes themselves, Brett’s wife and two women which Shannon and Felix both date.

Naturally, maintaining a relationship with multiple partners is more complicated than a monogamous one, which is why Shannon, Felix and Brett explained the golden rules for making a polyamorous relationship work.

The couple explained that the most important part of a polyamorous relationship is making sure that everybody is comfortable with the arrangement.

Sharing advice for would-be poly couples, Shannon said they should first ‘make sure that they and their partner, before opening their relationship, are just like that.

‘Go to counselling, do whatever, and make sure [you] both want it.’

Felix, Shannon and Brett. (YouTube/ Soft White Underbelly)

Shannon then went on to reveal a scenario where they’d met up with another couple – only to later discover that the woman in the relationship wasn’t actually comfortable with the situation.

“She didn’t want it, she was lying on her husband’s behalf… we immediately ceased,” Shannon said.

“People will open up the relationship to try and fix it.”

Communication is also important, with Shannon explaining that each person in the ‘polycule’ has to have respect for the person’s primary partner.

“If there’s an issue in our life, then everything else gets put on pause,” she said, adding they practice what is known as ‘hierarchal polyamory’, which means that her primary spouse Felix comes before Brett.

Brett also highlighted that women will naturally have more luck when it comes to finding partners, saying: “The woman is always the most popular.”

The trio explained how they’re able to make their relationship work. (YouTube/ Soft White Underbelly)

He added: “The other piece is dudes don’t give up. You’re going to go out there and your wife or your girlfriend is going to be 5,000 times more popular than you are as far as people getting back.”

Felix went on to say that if any partners experience jealousy during the relationship they need to work out what’s causing the feeling as well as learning how to accept yourself as you are.

An influencer rejected 5,000 men who wanted to be her boyfriend after making them complete a 15-question quiz.

Dating apps certainly have their pitfalls – after all, who wants to spend hours endlessly swiping through various profiles – which is seeing people resort to some pretty bizarre methods to find true love.

Take social media influencer Vera Dijkmans, who required suitors to fill out a 15-question quiz to see if they lived up to her extremely high expectations.

She received 5,000 applications from single men keen to romance her, but is still single.

“I’d say I received around 5,000 applications but after going through most of them, I found just three guys who I thought were suitable,” Dijkmans, who lives in London and has over seven million followers across her social media platforms, said.

The Dutch model revealed that she went on a date with each of the three lucky suitors, but was unable to form a connection with any of them.

“I went on a date with them – but I’m currently still single,” she added.

“Despite this disappointing result, I still consider the experiment a success since I was able to be upfront of what I want and see which men fit that criteria.”

You may be wondering how it was possible to end up with three dates from 5,000 single men, with Dijkmans explaining that she had to sift through ‘a lot of strange applications’.

(Jam Press/@veradijkmans)

“One man offered to send me a sample of his blood and asked for mine in return – which I ignored,” she said, adding that an undisclosed famous person also slid into her DMs.

Most of the applicants were also based in Texas and had the star sign of Aquarius.

As to the questions applicants had to answer:

• What’s you astrological sign?
• Number of ex-girlfriends, the number that are ‘crazy’, and exes you still text/talk to (drink ones count)
• Do you have kids?
• Do you want them?
• Are you married/dating someone now?
• Do you have a full time job?
• If you were picking three adjectives to describe yourself would one of them be douchey?
• Do you live with your parents?
• Do you own a working car?
• Do you have Twitter?
• Do you currently have a booty call?
• If we lived together would I get the walk in closet?
• Is it acceptable to hit on my friends?
• Do you like watching Avatar (ATLA)?
• Who is the best artist: The Weeknd, Future, Drake or Travis Scott?

These questions received unusual responses, with one applicant revealing he lived with his parents and didn’t have a car – but owned two boats.

Another man declared he would never hit on her friends – which should be a given – and a third boasted of having a full-time career but wouldn’t give her a bigger wardrobe.

Vera’s dating questionnaire (Jam Press)

You may think that after rejecting thousands of men Dijkmans is feeling disillusioned with the dating scene, however the model refuses to compromise on her standards.

“At the moment, I’ve put the boyfriend search on hold but I’m keeping my options open,” she said, adding that she wouldn’t hold another round of applications on social media.

“I’m just very picky and I need a guy to be almost perfect,” she continued.

“I don’t think I should have to compromise on my needs – I’d rather be single until I find the man I’m meant to be with.”

A couple who regularly travel on ‘spicy cruises’ have revealed the biggest red flags they look out for before hooking up with other couples.

Married swingers Bella and Jase have been in a non-monogamous relationship for the last 10 years after they first started dating at high school.

The pair regularly head off on swinging cruises, where they meet, make connections and have sexual experiences with other couples.

The cruises are often aimed at couples looking for a unique experience, with ships equipped with ‘playrooms’ and ‘clothing-optional’ areas on board.

There are also themed nights – where everyone heads out in fancy dress – and ‘intimate and exciting’ workshops from expert sexologists.

When it comes to having experiences with other couples onboard, Bella and Jase – who document their swinging lifestyle on TikTok – explained they are ‘social butterflies’.

Speaking to LADbible, they revealed that while they’ll sometimes meet up with new couples, other times they see the same people every time.

“Sometimes it will be with the same people, sometimes we’ll add more couples in, sometimes it will be with new people, sometimes it’s nothing,” they explained.

The cruise ships often have playrooms (Facebook/Temptation Cruises)

But while they like to be sociable on the Temptation and Bliss cruises, they do have some ‘red flags’ they look out for before hooking up with others.

According to the pair, when they first start talking to other swingers, there are usually a few different conversations that take place before it’s decided if they want to take things a little further.

During these conversations, important topics such as consent, rules, and boundaries are often discussed.

But sometimes, there are a few tell-tale signs that they might not be so compatible.

Poor communication

Jase explained that it’s often a big red flag when a couple clearly can’t communicate effectively.

“One of the biggest red flags is when you can tell a couple aren’t on the same page,” he said.

“Me and Bella have always talked about everything, so when a couple seem like they haven’t communicated or they don’t communicate well, it can lead to things going how they’re not supposed to.”

No rules or boundaries

Another big no-no is when a couple say they don’t have any rules or boundaries at all.

“One that makes me feel off is when we’re discussing rules and boundaries and a couple say, ‘We don’t have any rules, we just go with the flow’,” says Bella.

“It’s not necessarily a bad thing but I do find it a bit odd not to have any rules.”

For Bella and Jase, their rules include: using protection; being in the same room as each other (in other words, they ‘don’t play separately’); no taking photos or videos during sexual experiences, and no cuddling with the opposite partner afterwards.

The adults-only cruise is mainly aimed at non-monogamous couples (Facebook/Temptation Cruises)

No protection

Bella and Jase explain that within the swinging lifestyle, sexual health is taken very seriously.

In fact, the couple explain they’ve never heard of any STI outbreaks on board the ships they’ve travelled on and that’s it’s a huge misconception that swingers ‘are f**king everybody and doing it unsafely’.

“People in this lifestyle take their sexual health very seriously, it’s normal to get tested regularly,” said Jase.

“Almost every single person uses protection and if they don’t, it’s couples who have discussed it.”

Having said that, if a couple say they don’t ever use protection, it’s a big red flag for Bella and Jase.

“If someone is like, ‘we don’t ever use protection’, I’d be like ‘sorry, no’. That’s never happened,” explained Jase.

“I’ve never had a person say that but if they did it would be a no for me.”